~ 2013 reads

Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous & Independent Children by Reid Wilson, Lynn Lyons

277 pages
Published September 3rd 2013
Finished reading on September 17, 2013
Rating: A
Genre: Self-Help | Emotional Health
Source: NetGalley

Overview –

With anxiety at epidemic levels among our children, “Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents” offers a contrarian yet effective approach to help children and teens push through their fears, worries, and phobias to ultimately become more resilient, independent, and happy. 
How do you manage a child who gets stomachaches every school morning, who refuses after-school activities, or who is trapped in the bathroom with compulsive washing? Children like these put a palpable strain on frustrated, helpless parents and teachers. And there is no escaping the problem: One in every five kids suffers from a diagnosable anxiety disorder. Unfortunately, when parents or professionals offer help in traditional ways, they unknowingly reinforce a child’s worry and avoidance. From their success with hundreds of organizations, schools, and families, Reid Wilson, PhD, and Lynn Lyons, LICSW, share their unconventional approach of stepping into uncertainty in a way that is currently unfamiliar but infinitely successful. Using current research and contemporary examples, the book exposes the most common anxiety-enhancing patterns including reassurance, accommodation, avoidance, and poor problem solving and offers a concrete plan with 7 key principles that foster change. And, since new research reveals how anxious parents typically make for anxious children, the book offers exercises and techniques to change both the children’s “and” the parental patterns of thinking and behaving. 
This book challenges our basic instincts about how to help fearful kids and will serve as the antidote for an anxious nation of kids and their parents.

My Thoughts

I requested this book because I wanted a guide to help me deal with my son who seems to have some kind of anxiety that I have no idea what was causing it.

I was kind of having a mixed feeling on this book, mainly because it did not address the issues I felt that my son was dealing with.  At the same time, it was a surprise to know and comprehend that maybe, just maybe, some of the anxieties he was dealing with was in correlation to what he can observe from me, directly or indirectly.

There were several ways presented in this book on how to deal with certain anxieties in different situations, how to face worry and how to fight it.  There were several ideas that I feel can help parents in general when they are faced with situations written in the book, but there are others, particularly when you want your child to overhear you praise him/her about his/her accomplishments in comparison with the other siblings.  How are you going to address the anxiety of competition/jealousy between brothers and sisters if there are comments like this?

Nevertheless, I think this book can be a ‘go-to’ reference for some ‘worrisome’ episodes between the kids AND the parents.  For me, I learned that I have to change the way I react in times of distress, and ‘show’ him how I handle my own worries.  And maybe that way, he would be able to learn how to handle his own worries, with or without the motivation on my part.


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