**This is a repost from my soon to be deleted blog. Edited for RWS.
As I stepped into the shower
this one early morn ing, I realized something.
I haven’t been blogging as much as I should.
The motivation was nada, not because my head wasn’t brimming with words (because they do, ALL THE TIME) but because the moment I felt the compulsory notion of giving
this the other blog some life, words just escape me, and the purpose of WHY I’m blogging in the first place.
I started blogging as a bookmark or a haven for the collections I’ve had, minimizing the paper trail I’ve gathered through the years, but somehow, somewhere, I found out about paid blogging.
And, Hypocrisy aside, knowing about having to blog, then – cha-ching-cha-ching -seems blogging and paid for it WAS better than just blogging at all. So, off I went to the world of paid blogging, skimming through the ones who paid the most, and messing the purpose of my wanting to blog in the first place.
A bookmark. Practice writing. Express myself. Penshoppe. In that order.
But as I was
defecating (excuse moi) on my commode (yep, this is my favorite pastime) and reading Scott Adams’ on energy and passion How To Fail At Almost Everything and Still Win Big, this the other blog keeps pushing its way into my head.
was once IS my passion, and I have no qualms about it being monetary, but a little part of the disadvantage to its economic perk was the fact that I need to write about a topic I’m unsure how to write, or the energy to write about it.
So, I don’t want that anymore.
I want to blog. I want to rant (positively?), and express and unburden my whirling thoughts in something I can read, or my children can read, or the world wide web can read, for all eternity.
I wonder what more eludes me with blogging, and it somehow have to do with my constant wanting to perfectly write a post – grammar and all – because as it was, I don’t want to appear stupid in public.
WRONG. I’m stupid.
I’m stupid enough to allow myself to wallow in my want for perfection because it’s never going to be perfect.
There is beauty in flaws.
I was so conscious of my writing that I decided not to write at all.
My blog is full of drafts – half-written rants, and self-imposed importance and opinions that I decided not to finish in the end.
It was so me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah…Scott Adams, I got your point.
Now I’m doing something about my energetic thoughts.
By the way, the book and my thoughts about it is posted in my book blog – Leaf Through Books (and no, this is not the blog I’m deleting). And I leave with this quote from the book –
…forget about passion when you’re planning your path to success…when your energy is right you perform better in everything you do, including school, work, sports, and even your personal life. Energy is good. Passion is bullshit.
– excerpt, How to Fail at Almost Anything and Still Win Big by Scott Adams
There you go.